For Those We’ve Lost…

Last year, some of our generous donors helped us create and open our Memorial Room for the Unborn at our Hawthorne headquarters. The room offers a place for those who have experienced the loss of a child, whether through termination, miscarriage, stillbirth, or neonatal death, to find solace and healing. This year, we invite everyone in our community to visit this meaningful memorial.

The journey of loss often brings a natural range of emotions for mothers and fathers, encompassing grief, sadness, anger, and even guilt. It is vital to understand that there is no prescribed path for grief, and it’s perfectly acceptable to take the time necessary to process these emotions and mend.

At Lighthouse, we are committed to assisting parents in navigating their unique grief journey and preserving the memory of the children they have lost. This serene sanctuary provides a haven for mothers and fathers to reflect, pray, and remember in peace. Importantly, this space is not exclusive to Lighthouse parents; it is open to anyone in our community who has experienced such a loss, regardless of when or how it occurred.

Additional Help

Many women and men with an abortion in their past come to us for counseling, feeling overwhelmed by feelings of guilt, pain, and regret. Our Forgiven and Set Free Bible study provides healing and wholeness for women who have experienced abortion. Healing a Father’s Heart walks men through a similar journey. These programs literally set people free from years of heartache, forbidden grief, anger and regret.

In 2022, three Forgiven and Set Free groups took place. In addition, many women and men had the opportunity to speak confidentially with our caring staff about their abortion experiences. Over 170 conversations related to abortion recovery took place, and another 33 peer counseling sessions focused on the grace and forgiveness found in the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

“The study helped me realize that having an abortion affected me more than I thought. I can’t take it back, but the study helped me grieve and most importantly, I confessed to God and asked for forgiveness. During the study, I realized that I have a baby in Heaven waiting for me. It was a beautiful experience. Being surrounded by women who went through the same thing helped me realize that I wasn’t alone.” — A participant of Forgiven and Set Free

If you would like to participate in an upcoming Forgiven and Set Free group, you can contact us confidentially at help@lighthouseprc.org.

July 30, 2020 Debbie

YoungLives Changes to Keep Changing Lives

What do Easter and Summer Camp have in common? Both are important dates on our YoungLives Paterson calendar that were impacted by the pandemic – and both demonstrate our determination to bring the hope of the gospel to pregnant and parenting teens – no matter what!

YoungLives Paterson, a collaboration of Lighthouse and Young Life Bergen County, typically meets every second Saturday for Club, which includes lunch, games, crafts, and a gospel-centered talk, plus childcare to keep the youngest guests happy and safe. Twice a month, the pregnant and parenting teens gather for Community Group – a time focused on Bible study, discussion and prayer.

This spring we found creative ways to continue supporting our teen moms, such as Zoom meetings and texting links to RightNow Media. With social distancing in full swing, several leaders donned masks for door-to-door deliveries of Easter baskets packed full with God’s love. The expressions on the moms’ and children’s faces made this Good Friday even better!

This summer, the much-anticipated YoungLives Camp looks a lot different. Most years, camp is a sleepaway experience in August — full of laughter, fantastic food, great conversations, and resort-quality facilities. It’s often called the “best 5 days of your life” and we look forward to it every year!

This summer, we’re having “Virtual Camp” from August 3 – 7! The young moms are able to choose from typical camp activities, like dance class or arts and crafts, and enjoy a “cabin time” debrief after hearing from a great speaker each evening. The big difference this year — it will all be virtual! We’ll be connecting via Zoom as a group — but plan to meet together in person (with social distancing, of course) for a Live camp kickoff celebration Monday night at a local church.

Along with an exciting box of goodies from YoungLives, we are looking forward to a memorable and life-changing week together!

From Lost to Finding YoungLives

Please pray with us that despite the differences due to the pandemic, Lighthouse can continue to make an eternal difference in the lives of young moms like Melis:

“When my daughter and I arrived in America two years ago, I was totally lost. I trusted nobody. I was so constantly afraid of being judged that sometimes I told people that my daughter was my sister. At this time of my life, I was falling into depression. I could not stand to live, and I had no friends to confide in. Talking to my own mother was impossible.

“I will never forget the day I met Jess, the YoungLives Paterson leader. I was so amazed that she did not judge me! My first Saturday with the group was beautiful. I was so relieved and finally happy to be part of a group of young people like me, I couldn’t stop smiling. YoungLives is, frankly, the most beautiful experience of my life and I wish other girls will be able to experience it, too.”

To register for Virtual Camp or inquire about volunteering when YoungLives’ meetings resume, please contact Coordinator Jessica Rexford at 732-893-7353 or Jessica@LighthousePRC.org.

May 28, 2020May 28, 2020 Debbie

Love in a Bottle

Singer-songwriter Jim Croce wanted to save time in a bottle, but Burt Bacharach believed that what the world needs now is love – not just for some, but for everyone. I agree with Burt. Having time but less love might lead to more senseless acts of violence like the one (in Minneapolis that) our nation is mourning.

When questioned about the greatest commandment of all, Jesus answered with two: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength, and love your neighbor as yourself.” These two go hand-in-hand. As our love for God deepens, it naturally grows our heart for loving others.

Burt Bacharach also observed that “love was the only thing there is just too little of.” Sometimes we see that “too little” at Lighthouse when the partner of a pregnant woman threatens to leave her if she continues with their pregnancy. Or the baby’s father abandons her just before the baby is due. Other times I’ve witnessed it when a young man wants to be a good parent, but has not experienced the love of a father in his own life.

Lighthouse responds to this shortage by bringing God’s love to life. We extend a small measure of God’s unconditional love to those facing unexpected pregnancies, parenting challenges, relationship struggles, or post-abortion pain. Our free services and ongoing support – funded and fueled by those who have experienced God’s love in their own lives – expresses that love in practical ways. For some, it is a free ultrasound to medically confirm pregnancy when they have no insurance or no one to turn to; for others, it is a listening ear throughout their pregnancy journey that equips them emotionally, spiritually and materially to be a loving parent. For teens looking for love in the wrong places, it is guidance toward wise choices that protect their hearts and future. For those hurting from a past abortion, Lighthouse offers a confidential place to discover they are not alone and that healing is possible.

The New Testament makes another extreme statement about love. “Perfect love drives out fear,” we are told in I John 4:18. At Lighthouse, we see that even imperfect love can overcome the fear a newly pregnant mom or dad is feeling. As love is brought to life, those we serve can see past the fear of the moment to make wise life-giving, life-transforming choices.

During this uncertain season, Lighthouse is asking friends to push past our own fears, and fill a bottle with love – a virtual baby bottle. Every other spring, we would be distributing baby bottles to be filled with cash, checks or change to fund the free services that bring God’s love to life. But this spring is different, so our bottles are virtual, but the need for your generous support is very real.

I pray you will join us with a gift today at www.LighthouseBabyBottle.org so there is more love in our world tomorrow.

April 21, 2020April 21, 2020 Debbie

Why Worry When You Can …?

Matthew 6:34 tells us not to worry about tomorrow, “for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” In the midst of a pandemic that has shut down much of life as we knew it, it is easy to see the trouble. But not worrying is harder than ever before.

So how do we maintain mental health when we have experienced such a sudden change in lifestyle, and the future seems so uncertain? A friend of Lighthouse, Simon Azavedo, MSW, LCSW, CCBT, DAPA and LLC, shared these helpful ideas (and we added a few, too). A big thank you to Simon, who operates a psychotherapeutic, educational and consultation service with offices in Bergen County.

1. Eat right. Take vitamins as needed (but check with your physician). There is a correlation between low levels of vitamin D and depression. Take vitamin D3 rather than D2 or D. It metabolizes better in the liver. What raises vitamin D level? Sunlight . . . difficult to get when we are indoors so much! When the sun is out go for a walk or a jog. When the sun is bright, sit in front of the window. Foods that raise vitamin D: salmon, tuna, mackerel, cheese, mushrooms, egg yolks, cod liver oil. Some medications can deplete vitamin D, B vitamins, and Iron. Internet search your ‘medication name and vitamin depletion.” Also, get your Omega-3s in salmon, white tuna, spinach, kale, Brussels sprouts, walnuts, avocado, mackerel, herring, and anchovies. Internet search ‘omega 3s and depression’: various information there shows that omega-3s may also improve the response to some antidepressants. Internet search ‘folate and depression’: various information there shows that folate may improve an individual’s response to some antidepressants (leafy greens, asparagus, Brussels sprouts, citrus fruits, beans, legumes.)

2. Exercise. Walk – alone or with your family. Do a walk/jog. Do some stretching, sit-ups, push-ups, jumping jacks, knee bends. Lift weights. Use resistance bands. Use laundry detergent and other common containers, if you don’t have weights!

3. Limit news. Watch briefly in the morning and in the evening, but not before bedtime. Buffer children from watching TV shows that report “death rates” or “fatalities.” This can create a sense of insecurity and fear. Normalize your life during these abnormal times. Read the emotional climate in your house or any environment that you are in. Make it more positive (fun, safe). Look for ways to relieve tension or brighten someone’s day. Now is the time to read to or connect with your kids or grandchildren – even if it is online. For good news, go to https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/ — they have little blue tabs, where there will be different subjects, including one for “Kids.”

4. Limit electronics at least 2 hours before bedtime to reduce the blue light and the brightness of the light. Limit caffeine (which can include soda!); it lasts 4-6 hours in your system.

5. Do not catastrophize a situation if it is not the case. Don’t think in terms of worst-case scenario (irrational), but be rational. Control what you can and recognize what you cannot. Also realize the loss of control in a certain area may only be temporary.

6. Breathe, when high anxiety strikes. This helps various areas of the brain like the amygdala to calm down. You can also practice EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique), yoga poses, or visualizing peaceful places. Write down Scripture verses on index cards to memorize or meditate on.

7. Pray. From the ends of the earth I call to you, I call as my heart grows faint; lead me to the rock that is higher than I. Psalm 61:2

8. Connect with someone for encouragement or to encourage that person. Colossians 3:16 takes on new meaning in the current crisis: Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts.

August 20, 2019August 20, 2019 Debbie

Restoration in Place of Regret

Statistics tell us that one in four women will experience an abortion by age 45. This means there are an equal number of men experiencing the pain of abortion. These individuals are inside and outside of our churches. They include our supporters, our volunteers, our staff.

I am so grateful that God has placed on our team people who have been in the shoes of those we serve. One of those women is Lauren Ramkawsky who provides ultrasounds to those making pregnancy decisions, and recovery support to those grieving or regretting their past pregnancy decisions. She recently shared the following thoughts.

Two Cries for Help by Lauren Ramkawsky

Two phone conversations on the same day. Two different women with the same pain.
Pain I am familiar with from my own abortion experiences.
One said her abortion was thirty years ago, the other, five days.
Thirty years provides time for layer upon layer of protection to encase the heart.
Five days is fresh, raw, naked…exposed.
Yet the cry of the mother’s heart remains the same, undimmed over decades.

It doesn’t seem to matter if we consider ourselves pro-choice or pro-life.
When it becomes personal, we are suddenly shifted into unfamiliar territory where labels have no meaning.
We often believe that we are alone in our pain and there is no hope for wholeness or joy to return.
Those thoughts may keep us on a lonely road of sadness and guilt.
But there is a path to healing. There is hope for restoration and redemption.
Lighthouse offers free, confidential support to women (and men) impacted by the elective termination of a pregnancy.

We can be different women. Stronger, wiser women who carry our experience into the future, speaking with the voice of truth and a heart of love.
Abortion’s promise to end a pregnancy comes with a price tag, but by God’s free grace, our hearts and lives can be restored.

Thank you for partnering with us to mend broken hearts. To learn more about our confidential post-abortion support, follow this link.

May 17, 2018 Debbie

Spring Brings Baby Bottles!

Lighthouse is so grateful for the more than 50 church, school and community partners who are joining us this spring to bring beauty from brokenness in the lives of those we serve.

While an unexpected pregnancy may seem overwhelming at first, the confidential services and compassionate support of Lighthouse helps transform these “burdens” into blessings! The free ultrasound women and couples receive on their first visit provides a loving first look at their unborn child. The ultrasound provides a medical confirmation of pregnancy, as well as a new perspective on the unplanned situation. No longer is the pregnancy simply a problem to be taken care of, but rather a little person to be cared for. Lighthouse staff help women and couples to carefully consider their options in a safe setting; offer adoption information and referrals; and provide, if desired, parenting support throughout pregnancy and the first year of parenting. For those struggling with a past abortion decision, Lighthouse offers caring counsel to grieve and heal from that experience. STD testing and relationship support are also available at all 3 Lighthouse locations.

The Baby Bottle Boomerang offers churches and other community groups free bottles to distribute, to be returned to the same location filled with checks, cash or change — to help save and change lives through the work of Lighthouse, a faith-based 501C3 organization. Each baby bottle tells the story of a mom or dad who found life-enhancing support at Lighthouse! Typically this fund and awareness raiser runs from Mothers’ Day to Fathers’ Day, but Lighthouse will gladly adjust the timing and wording on the bottle wrappers to fit YOUR schedule! To reserve bottles or request our special “coins” for online giving, please click here . Thank you! Baby Bottle Boomerang 2018

February 21, 2018 Debbie

Annual Banquet Planned for March 12, 2018!

Tables are going quickly for our annual Lighthouse Fundraising Banquet on Monday, March 12! Don’t miss this amazing night of celebration and support for the life-saving work of Lighthouse. In addition to inspiring testimonies from women and men whose lives were transformed by our life-enhancing services, our featured speaker David Nasser will share his story of amazing grace. David’s own spiritual journey began as a child of nine, fleeing Iran with his family, terrified and hating religion. How David arrived at our banquet is a story of brokenness made beautiful when God’s love came to life — like it does at Lighthouse, every day with your support.

Join us as we discover how God can bring beauty from the brokenness in our own lives. Enjoy The Venetian’s delicious food. Spend time with friends of Lighthouse, and see what happens when the Body of Christ comes together to bring love to life.

Table sponsorships of $850 include seating for 10-12 guests and a half-page ad in our banquet program. A limited number of individual seats are available for $85 each. All monies raised from the event will fund the free services Lighthouse offers to anyone facing an unplanned pregnancy or related concern. These services include STD testing and relationship counsel, ultrasound confirmation of pregnancy, parenting preparation and material aid, and post-abortion recovery support. To register for the banquet, please click here.

To learn more about the free services Lighthouse offers, please visit LighthousePRC.org. Thank you!

November 17, 2017November 17, 2017 Debbie

HarvestFEST Guests Take Big Steps for Life

Lighthouse is grateful to all who joined us to take steps for life at HarvestFest 2017, held in early November at Powerhouse Church in Wyckoff. Friends of all ages enjoyed the festive fall atmosphere, delicious food trucks, square dancing, rock climbing, children’s crafts, and more — topped off by a concert featuring the world-famous Sleepy Man band.

Prizes were awarded to those who dressed in their western best, and those who contributed to the world’s tallest (and only?) diaper bale received extra tickets toward door prizes, which included a live Christmas tree from Abma’s Farm and a dinner at Cilantro in New York City. A total of 1,308 diapers were donated that evening to support families in need. Enjoy pictures from the photobooth HERE.

The highlight of HarvestFEST, a Lighthouse fundraiser held every other autumn, is always the concert by bluegrass band, Sleepy Man. The band is comprised of three talented brothers from New Jersey (plus friends Josh on bass and Rocco on drums). The Mizzone brothers made a big entrance on the music scene at an early age, and their musical ability, stage presence, and passion for life continues to grow as they do. Lighthouse was honored to host Sleepy Man for a rare local performance to help save and change lives through our Paterson, Wayne and Hackensack centers.

Thanks to a matching gift, and generous contributions from volunteers, participants, and guests, HarvestFEST raised $43,000 to fund the free, life-enhancing support Lighthouse provides to women, men and teens facing or at-risk-for unplanned pregnancies. This equals more than one month of operations at Lighthouse’s busiest center plus relationship programs in local schools.

October 10, 2017 Debbie

Sleepy Man to Perform at HarvestFEST November 4

Lighthouse invites you to take steps for life by attending HarvestFest 2017 on Saturday, November 4. We are eagerly preparing for this family-friendly fundraiser which takes place 4:30-9 pm at Powerhouse Christian Church in Wyckoff, NJ.

Many wonderful things are in store for this evening – all culminating in a 7 pm concert by the world-famous Sleepy Man band. Adults and children of all ages will find food and fun activities to their liking!

Start your evening off with a delicious supper from one of NJ’s famous food trucks. Then work off your calories with rock climbing, line dancing or square dancing. Beginners welcome: talented caller Paul Ingis of PI Squared and Christine Crawley of New School of Dance Arts will show you the steps! Children will enjoy the craft and game room, where they will make their own special memento of the night. Refreshments and homemade desserts will be served.

Dress in your best western or country look to compete for an individual, couple or family prize. You can also earn extra door prize tickets by bringing a pack of diapers (or more!) to help build the world’s largest diaper bale to support families in need.

The highlight of HarvestFEST is a concert by bluegrass band, Sleepy Man. The band is comprised of three talented brothers who hail from New Jersey (plus a friend on bass). The Mizzone brothers amazed Lighthouse supporters in 2013 and 2015 with their unique blend of folk, country and pop, and their stage presence. The world-renowned teens made quite an entrance onto the music scene, with their YouTube videos, now eclipsing over 30 million views. They have performed at the Grand Ole Opry, on the Late Show with David Letterman, NBC’s The Today Show, and ABC’s Jimmy Kimmel Live!.

Lighthouse is honored to host Sleepy Man for a rare New Jersey performance to help save and change lives through our Paterson, Wayne and Hackensack centers. All proceeds from HarvestFEST will fund the free, life-enhancing support Lighthouse provides to women, men and teens facing or at-risk-for unplanned pregnancies.

Don’t miss this opportunity to see these passionate young musicians upclose, performing with a purpose! Tickets are $15/person in advance and $20 at the door; or $60/per immediate family in advance and $70 at the door. To learn more or purchase tickets online, please visit itickets.com Thank you!

May 9, 2017May 5, 2017 Debbie

Happy Mother’s Day to Julias everywhere . . .

pexels-photo-59894 After a dozen years, it still doesn’t get old. Every Mother’s Day, I am reminded of the women Lighthouse has supported to make brave choices – choices that have changed their lives and their children’s forever, for the better. Often their first life choice caused a ripple effect that brought abundant life and joy to those around them.

This Mother’s Day I am especially grateful to those who give sacrificially to Lighthouse to make our free services available to women like Julia. Here is her story, which she shared at one of our past banquets:

Hi, my name is Julia. I came to Lighthouse in 2011 after googling free pregnancy test center sites.

Being an unemployed recent college graduate and newlywed, I was worried about how having a baby would burden me with responsibilities I wasn’t ready to handle. I thought this unplanned pregnancy would throw my plans for a foreign service career out the window and possibly keep me unemployed for several years.

I admit that I did consider abortion so I liked the fact that the Lighthouse website reached out to undecided, unprepared women like me and that it was free. When I finally made an appointment to get that free pregnancy test, I met Marissa, who provided me with the free resources available to not only test for pregnancy but also to care for the baby afterwards. My husband and I were amazed at how much easier and more possible giving birth became, just by knowing that an organization like Lighthouse was ready to support us every step of the way to delivery and even beyond childbirth.

How could we resist the love of God we received through Lighthouse? Lighthouse had given us our first picture of Brian taken at 6 weeks, and that was enough to cancel out any thought of abortion. My first visit was followed by phone calls from Marissa, who continued to care and provide me with resources that prepared me for childbirth. So then, my husband and I benefitted further from watching videos on the childbirth process and bringing home some items for Brian like baby clothes, toys and a washtub.

In this way, Lighthouse became an example to us and our unbelieving parents of how Christian love builds families and communities. Please pray with us that like Lighthouse, we, too, will be able to touch and improve the lives of others around us. Thank you.

This mother’s day I am also thinking of and praying for another young woman named Julia. This young woman bravely placed her son in the arms of a loving adoptive couple. She sacrificed much to give her son the life she believed he deserved. May God fill her arms and her heart to overflowing for this precious act of love. And may He bless you for your precious gifts of love to those we serve.

Lighthouse PRC

Bringing Grace to Life

Author: Debbie