For Those We’ve Lost…

Last year, some of our generous donors helped us create and open our Memorial Room for the Unborn at our Hawthorne headquarters. The room offers a place for those who have experienced the loss of a child, whether through termination, miscarriage, stillbirth, or neonatal death, to find solace and healing. This year, we invite everyone in our community to visit this meaningful memorial.

The journey of loss often brings a natural range of emotions for mothers and fathers, encompassing grief, sadness, anger, and even guilt. It is vital to understand that there is no prescribed path for grief, and it’s perfectly acceptable to take the time necessary to process these emotions and mend.

At Lighthouse, we are committed to assisting parents in navigating their unique grief journey and preserving the memory of the children they have lost. This serene sanctuary provides a haven for mothers and fathers to reflect, pray, and remember in peace. Importantly, this space is not exclusive to Lighthouse parents; it is open to anyone in our community who has experienced such a loss, regardless of when or how it occurred.

Additional Help

Many women and men with an abortion in their past come to us for counseling, feeling overwhelmed by feelings of guilt, pain, and regret.  Our Forgiven and Set Free Bible study provides healing and wholeness for women who have experienced abortion. Healing a Father’s Heart walks men through a similar journey. These programs literally set people free from years of heartache, forbidden grief, anger and regret. 

In 2022, three Forgiven and Set Free groups took place. In addition, many women and men had the opportunity to speak confidentially with our caring staff about their abortion experiences. Over 170 conversations related to abortion recovery took place, and another 33 peer counseling sessions focused on the grace and forgiveness found in the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

“The study helped me realize that having an abortion affected me more than I thought. I can’t take it back, but the study helped me grieve and most importantly, I confessed to God and asked for forgiveness. During the study, I realized that I have a baby in Heaven waiting for me. It was a beautiful experience. Being surrounded by women who went through the same thing helped me realize that I wasn’t alone.” — A participant of Forgiven and Set Free

If you would like to participate in an upcoming Forgiven and Set Free group, you can contact us confidentially at help@lighthouseprc.org.

Honoring Those Who Sacrifice

On behalf of our staff and those we serve, I want to thank everyone who has given a gift of life support this May.

May is a beautiful month because it brings new life blooming all around us. It also features two beautiful holidays that honor sacrificial service: Mother’s Day and Memorial Day! And while their service may look different, both mothers and those in our armed forces give of themselves so that others may live.

Together, these holidays remind me of a young woman we served during my early years at Lighthouse. Abby was in a leadership program for ROTC (Reserved Officers’ Training Corp). Along with being the only pregnant student at her residential college, she was the only ROTC member wearing maternity camouflage fatigues. 

It took tremendous courage on her part and significant prayer on ours, to make it through the challenges of telling her commanding officer about the pregnancy, passing required fitness tests while pregnant, and serving her country as a new mom. But thanks, in large part, to the emotional, spiritual, and material support her family found at Lighthouse, Abby did it! Today she is the proud mother of a Lighthouse teen (and his younger brother), happily married to their father.

Thank you for giving sacrificially so that others may live and stories like Abby’s have a grace-filled ending.

May also brings our Baby Bottle Boomerang, and we are so grateful for all the churches and several schools participating in this fund and awareness-raiser for Lighthouse! 

To watch our 2023 Boomerang Video or learn more, visit www.LighthouseBabyBottle.org.

To Remember and Honor…

The loss of a child, whether it be through termination, miscarriage, stillbirth, or neonatal death, is a devastating and heartbreaking experience. We know that mothers and fathers feel a natural range of emotions, including grief, sadness, anger, and even guilt. It’s important to remember that there is no right or wrong way to grieve, and that it’s okay to take the time you need to process your feelings and heal.

One of our goals at Lighthouse is to help mothers and fathers process those feelings, and to remember and honor children that they’ve lost.

To that end, a few of our generous donors have helped create a Memorial Room for the Unborn at our Hawthorne headquarters. This memorial room will provide mothers and fathers with a quiet, peaceful place where they can reflect, pray and remember. This room isn’t just for Lighthouse parents; this room will be available to anyone in our community, no matter how or when they experienced their loss. 

Learn more about how you can contribute a nameplate to our memorial wall.

We’re inviting our supporters to a brief dedication ceremony on Sunday, January 29th at 2pm. We are also creating a display with Christian crosses of all types, and would welcome your donation of a cross that is special to you, for display in the memorial area. Donations can be brought to our HQ, 297 Lafayette Ave, Hawthorne, weekdays, 9-5pm, using front/street entrance; call 973.238.9047.

 

Additional Help

Many women and men with an abortion in their past come to us for counseling, feeling overwhelmed by feelings of guilt, pain, and regret.  Our Forgiven and Set Free Bible study provides healing and wholeness for women who have experienced abortion. Healing a Father’s Heart walks men through a similar journey. These programs literally set people free from years of heartache, forbidden grief, anger and regret. 

In 2022, three Forgiven and Set Free groups took place. In addition, many women and men had the opportunity to speak confidentially with our caring staff about their abortion experiences. Over 170 conversations related to abortion recovery took place, and another 33 peer counseling sessions focused on the grace and forgiveness found in the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

“The study helped me realize that having an abortion affected me more than I thought. I can’t take it back, but the study helped me grieve and most importantly, I confessed to God and asked for forgiveness. During the study, I realized that I have a baby in Heaven waiting for me. It was a beautiful experience. Being surrounded by women who went through the same thing helped me realize that I wasn’t alone.” — A participant of Forgiven and Set Free

If you would like to participate in an upcoming Forgiven and Set Free group, you can contact us confidentially at help@lighthouseprc.org.

An Amazing Morning of Grace…

On November 5th we held our second annual Thanks-giving For Grace Breakfast Fundraiser at the Sheraton Mahwah Hotel. We had 325 supporters join us to help make life choices possible for women and men facing unexpected pregnancies in our community. Between sponsorships, seats, Lighthouse Keeper pledges and one-time gifts, we’ve raised $77,000 towards our $150,000 goal.

Our featured speaker was Amy Ford, the co-founder and President of Embrace Grace. She shared how God has used Embrace Grace to stir up His church to pour out love for mothers facing unexpected pregnancies. We also heard from Diana Organowska, an incredible mother and an Embrace Grace graduate who went on to earn her Masters Degree in special education.

Thank to you every sponsor, guest and donor who supported this year’s event!

Forever Loved, Never Forgotten

In honor of International Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day, Lighthouse Pregnancy Resource Center hosts a remembrance ceremony on October 15 at its Hawthorne headquarters.

This annual ceremony, which has become a cherished tradition, is open to anyone in the community who has experienced the loss of a child through miscarriage, still birth, ectopic/molar pregnancy, a fetal anomaly, SIDS, or other circumstance. The observance includes music, words of reflection, and prayer – all designed to provide compassionate support for those who too often grieve in silence. It concludes with a candle lighting which coincided with an international wave of light at 7 pm.

“We want to provide a meaningful way for those we serve at our centers, and those in our communities to honor precious lives who were with us for too short a time,” explained Debbie Provencher, Lighthouse Executive Director. “The ceremony offers a special time of remembrance for parents, grandparents, siblings, relatives and friends who have shared this hurt and grief.”

In the United States, as many as 25% of all pregnancies end in miscarriage. The percentage is highest in the earliest stages of pregnancy and among undiagnosed pregnancies. “Many of our staff have experienced this loss firsthand and understand the need to acknowledge and remember the child who was lost,” said Provencher.

Those attending the ceremony receive small tokens of remembrance, including a “forever loved, never forgotten” bracelet, and an ornament in memory of their children, for their holiday tree. Through the end of October, these mementos are available at the front desk of all Lighthouse centers (Hawthorne, Hackensack, Paterson and Wayne) for anyone who has suffered a pregnancy or infant loss.

How to Pray For Your Love Life (When You Don’t Have One)

Shared with permission from original author: Debra Fileta

There’s something romantic about a prayer for love. But what happens when you’re single, and you don’t have anyone to pray for? I received this very question from one of my blog readers.

Q: How can I begin praying for a spouse in a place where I don’t have any dating/marriage prospects?

A: It’s hard to pray for something – or someone – when you have no idea whether or not they even exist. And a prayer for love can be even harder to think about when you’re single. 

I remember being single and just trying so hard to picture the type of person I would one day marry. I tried to imagine what he would look like, sound like, and what his personality would be. (And can I just say – I ended up so completely wrong on all three accounts).

When you’re single with no prospects in sight, it’s easy to spend your days wishing, dreaming, hoping, and even worrying. But the interesting thing is that while those actions might be fun, they don’t actually do anything for you. But prayer….prayer is powerful. Even in your loneliest moments, your prayer for love is more significant than you might even realize. 

When it comes to praying for love and you’ve got no prospects in sight, I think it’s important to take a few steps back and focus not just on who you hope to marry – but on what you’re bringing to the table.

Pray for your personal healing. Praying for love means that you learn to take ownership of your role in the equation of a relationship. You are 50% of the equation of how healthy (or unhealthy) your marriage is going to be. It’s easy to get so fixated on that person you want to be with. It’s easy to give God your wish-list and ask him to grant your desires for love. But healthy people dig much deeper than that, because they know that they’re level of personal health is what’s going to determine the health of their future  relationship.

So what steps are you taking to pray through your struggles and overcome them? How often are you inviting God into those dark places of your life and heart, and accepting His healing in your life? What areas from your past still have a grip on you? How are you praying through your insecurities and allowing God’s identity to shape and transform you? You need to be praying for love, but sometimes the best way to do that starts from the inside-out.

Pray for your heart. I think sometimes, the hardest part of this journey of the “unknown” is the waiting. And wondering. Will God give me a spouse? What does my future hold? What will I do in the meantime? It’s important not to see this time as a time of simply waiting, but a time of preparation. So let your prayer for love start with this! Ask God to prepare your heart for love, to teach you trust, to give you purpose, to grant you patience, and to give you hope along the way. Ask Him to help you take care of your heart, to set proper boundaries, to be careful with who you entrust it with, and to learn when to give and when to hold back.

Pray for your journey. Life is a journey that’s unfolding regardless of your relationship status. You’re either going to be enjoying living it, or sitting around waiting to live it. If you find yourself caught in a pattern of bitterness and discouragement, maybe it’s time to ask God to show you how you can start living your life rather than wasting it away in the waiting. Singleness may be a struggle for you in this stage of life, but it doesn’t have to be a stronghold. It doesn’t have to keep you down. Like I always say, life doesn’t start when you get married, life is happening right here, right now. So talk to God about it, and then ask yourself what are the steps you can take to live your life now.

A prayer for love isn’t just some fairy dust that we sprinkle on our lives, or a star that we wish upon. Prayer is powerful, it’s meaningful, and it’s effective. Prayer doesn’t just change our situation – it changes us from the inside out. So prospects or not, start praying for your love life today. 

Holiday Hours 2021

Please note our hours for the upcoming holiday season! Please also note that our donation drop off Saturdays will be closed on Sat. 11/27 and Sat. 12/25. We wish you and your family a joyful holiday season!

YoungLives Changes to Keep Changing Lives

What do Easter and Summer Camp have in common?  Both are important dates on our YoungLives Paterson calendar that were impacted by the pandemic – and both demonstrate our determination to bring the hope of the gospel to pregnant and parenting teens – no matter what!

YoungLives Paterson, a collaboration of Lighthouse and Young Life Bergen County, typically meets every second Saturday for Club, which includes lunch, games, crafts, and a gospel-centered talk, plus childcare to keep the youngest guests happy and safe. Twice a month, the pregnant and parenting teens gather for Community Group – a time focused on Bible study, discussion and prayer. 

This spring we found creative ways to continue supporting our teen moms, such as Zoom meetings and texting links to RightNow Media. With social distancing in full swing, several leaders donned masks for door-to-door deliveries of Easter baskets packed full with God’s love. The expressions on the moms’ and children’s faces made this Good Friday even better!

This summer, the much-anticipated YoungLives Camp looks a lot different. Most years, camp is a sleepaway experience in August — full of laughter, fantastic food, great conversations, and resort-quality facilities. It’s often called the “best 5 days of your life” and we look forward to it every year! 

This summer, we’re having “Virtual Camp” from August 3 – 7! The young moms are able to choose from typical camp activities, like dance class or arts and crafts, and enjoy a “cabin time” debrief after hearing from a great speaker each evening. The big difference this year — it will all be virtual! We’ll be connecting via Zoom as a group — but plan to meet together in person (with social distancing, of course) for a Live camp kickoff celebration Monday night at a local church. 

Along with an exciting box of goodies from YoungLives, we are looking forward to a memorable and life-changing week together!

From Lost to Finding YoungLives

Please pray with us that despite the differences due to the pandemic, Lighthouse can continue to make an eternal difference in the lives of young moms like Melis:

“When my daughter and I arrived in America two years ago, I was totally lost. I trusted nobody. I was so constantly afraid of being judged that sometimes I told people that my daughter was my sister.  At this time of my life, I was falling into depression. I could not stand to live, and I had no friends to confide in. Talking to my own mother was impossible. 

“I will never forget the day I met Jess, the YoungLives Paterson leader. I was so amazed that she did not judge me!  My first Saturday with the group was beautiful. I was so relieved and finally happy to be part of a group of young people like me, I couldn’t stop smiling. YoungLives is, frankly, the most beautiful experience of my life and I wish other girls will be able to experience it, too.” 

To register for Virtual Camp or inquire about volunteering when YoungLives’ meetings resume, please contact Coordinator Jessica Rexford at 732-893-7353 or Jessica@LighthousePRC.org.  

Hawthorne Headquarters Progress Updates

Toward the end of 2019, Lighthouse took a bold but necessary step forward with the purchase of a building in the heart of Hawthorne on Lafayette Ave, right across from the movie theater. This new facility will serve as a main headquarters and expanded ministry location, increasing our capacity for serving families, saving and changing lives. 

The planning for a centralized headquarters began years ago as we reached capacity at our existing centers, while there were still many more women and men in need of our support. Although our country has seen a decrease in abortions, New Jersey has experienced a 9% increase. In 2017, this equaled 48,110 lives lost to abortion in our state – an average of 131 every day. This is why the construction of our new Hawthorne center is so essential, and why we must keep pressing forward. This new 7,000-square-foot space is strategically and conveniently located near North Jersey’s major roads, making it easy to connect with those needing our services, and easy to welcome more volunteers to serve them!
 
 
Construction work at the Hawthorne building began in January, and has continued at a good pace, even with a smaller volunteer crew, due to social distancing.  Check back often for updates! 
 
 

June 14, 2021

Today marks six months since our new Hawthorne Center opened its doors to begin serving the public. What a wonderful half-year it’s been! After a few weeks of serving those in pregnancy-related need, we held a Virtual Ribbon-Cutting and Dedication Service on January 24 to officially mark the building’s opening and to ask for God’s blessing on this new location. You can view photos from that special day here.

Thank you to all who joined us on January 24 for the Virtual Ribbon-Cutting and Dedication Service for our new Hawthorne headquarters and expanded ministry center. We are grateful for the many laborers of love:  financial partners, artists, businesses and contractors from the community, borough officials, staff, and a multitude of volunteers – most notably Servant’s Heart Ministry – who came together to create this beacon of light where God’s love and hope shines brightly for those in pregnancy-related crisis!

Since opening our doors in December, we have served hundreds of women and men at 297 Lafayette Ave through individual appointments, and hosted group programs such as Forgiven & Set Free, Star of Hope’s Jobs For Life, RENEW Life’s Getting Ahead workshop, YoungLives meetings, and our new Birth of a Family program. The childcare and café areas have been especially helpful for supporting parents and hosting our volunteer trainings.

If you missed the chance to celebrate and dedicate this building to the Lord with us, we invite you to watch the recording of the ceremony at FriendsofLighthousePRC.org/HawthorneHQ.

With pandemic restrictions lifted, we are holding an in-person Open House on Tuesday, June 29, from 7-9PM for our friends to come see the expanded ministry center they helped to build through their prayers and support. Ice cream will be served. An RSVP is not required but would be helpful. Please text the words “ice cream” along with your name and number of guests to 862-343-5208.  We hope to see you there!

December 10

We are thrilled to report that on November 3rd we received our final approval from the town of Hawthorne to occupy and utilize the new headquarters and expanded ministry center! We praise God for all the volunteers, meal providers, business partners, and financial supporters who joined us this past year to help us reach this important milestone for the ministry of Lighthouse!

There were (and still are) some final touches to be done on all floors of the building, so we are still happy to accept volunteer offers for help with light construction, painting and cleaning (please email Jackie@LighthousePRC.org with your interest and availability). But we are even happier to report that in the past month, we hosted our first New Volunteer Orientation in the space, an outdoor YoungLives Club for teen moms, our weekly after-abortion recovery support, and have begun to see a few of our parents for support appointments in the new space. Trainings on our new phone system, and new ultrasound machine took place in early December, and our Student Outreach Director has begun holding virtual classes from her new office there. We plan to begin a regular schedule of client services appointments the week of December 14. We have also emptied out two storage facilities that Lighthouse has been leasing for many years – reducing costs and saving travel time for our staff!

A big THANK YOU to all who played a part in bringing this new center to life!  Furnishing and fundraising work still continues to make this  foundation for life as strong as it can be! Please email Debbie@LighthousePRC.org if you would like to partner with us.

September 3

Exciting news! Lord willing, we are in our FINAL month of renovations for the main floor of the center!  As we look toward an October 1st finish line, Servant’s Heart is beginning to prepare the center for final inspections and the final steps of the renovation. Flooring was installed throughout the center in late August; interior doors are getting final coats of paint in preparation for handles and other door hardware to be installed; and we are looking forward to cabinetry and counters arriving for installation the second week in September. We welcomed our first new tenant on the second floor in August, and are putting finishing touches on the second apartment upstairs. Our parking lot got another upgrade when Kalor Construction company donated and installed gently used fencing to replace some much-used fencing that had lined our property. The last ceiling tiles are going in as a sign that much of the mechanical “behind the scenes” work is coming to an end. We are currently selecting the furnishings that will welcome and serve our families in need, and create efficient, comfortable work spaces for our staff. Thank you so much to each and every person who has contributed labor, materials, finances and meals to make this strong foundation for life a beautiful reality!

June 20

We are so grateful for all the wonderful work our amazing volunteers and generous contractors have accomplished over the past month! Finishing touches are being added to the building’s exterior, thanks to a donation of bricks from Braen Stone, and the generosity of Central Supply in Passaic, and CS Stucco. Our outside “face lift” will present a warm welcome to future visitors. Roofing has been replaced and skylights added or repaired to truly make us a “light-house” for the community. We are preparing to order flooring and cabinetry, and doors and doorframes have been installed, along with ceiling grid, so it is now easy to imagine the rooms being utilized for all their intended purposes! Lots of spackling, sanding and priming of the 810 boards of sheetrock and other walls has taken place and more painters are needed to complete this work and begin final coats of paint on our many walls. We look forward to continued progress in the weeks ahead, and hope you can join us at one of our dates to write Scripture verses on our unfinished floors and pray for the rooms as they are prepared for our life-affirming mission!

May 1

We are grateful to report that all interior framing of rooms is complete, electrical wiring is well underway, a new garage door in place on our storage warehouse, and much of the sheetrock is up!  Much plumbing has been done, and Reiner and GRC Mechanical have already assisted us with a lot of HVAC work, and Scott’s Security has worked on – you guessed it, security! Exterior work is being completed by our contractor, CS Stucco, in the next week or so. We are very grateful for CS Stucco’s partnership; they were able to tackle our project earlier because of COVID-19 rescheduling – a blessing for everyone involved! Thank you also to Pfister Maintenance & Roofing who are currently replacing our roofing.

Servant’s Heart Ministry and Director John Oostdyk, along with Bill Vander Eems, continue to do an amazing job keeping our project moving. A big thank you to ALL our volunteers and vendors for bringing this new ministry location to life!  Check out the construction photos above to see our progress and maybe a face or two you recognize!

 

Love in a Bottle

Singer-songwriter Jim Croce wanted to save time in a bottle, but Burt Bacharach believed that what the world needs now is love – not just for some, but for everyone.  I agree with Burt.  Having time but less love might lead to more senseless acts of violence like the one (in Minneapolis that) our nation is mourning. 

When questioned about the greatest commandment of all, Jesus answered with two: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength, and love your neighbor as yourself.” These two go hand-in-hand. As our love for God deepens, it naturally grows our heart for loving others.

Burt Bacharach also observed that “love was the only thing there is just too little of.” Sometimes we see that “too little” at Lighthouse when the partner of a pregnant woman threatens to leave her if she continues with their pregnancy. Or the baby’s father abandons her just before the baby is due. Other times I’ve witnessed it when a young man wants to be a good parent, but has not experienced the love of a father in his own life.

Lighthouse responds to this shortage by bringing God’s love to life. We extend a small measure of God’s unconditional love to those facing unexpected pregnancies, parenting challenges, relationship struggles, or post-abortion pain. Our free services and ongoing support – funded and fueled by those who have experienced God’s love in their own lives – expresses that love in practical ways. For some, it is a free ultrasound to medically confirm pregnancy when they have no insurance or no one to turn to; for others, it is a listening ear throughout their pregnancy journey that equips them emotionally, spiritually and materially to be a loving parent. For teens looking for love in the wrong places, it is guidance toward wise choices that protect their hearts and future.  For those hurting from a past abortion, Lighthouse offers a confidential place to discover they are not alone and that healing is possible. 

The New Testament makes another extreme statement about love. “Perfect love drives out fear,” we are told in I John 4:18. At Lighthouse, we see that even imperfect love can overcome the fear a newly pregnant mom or dad is feeling. As love is brought to life, those we serve can see past the fear of the moment to make wise life-giving, life-transforming choices. 

During this uncertain season, Lighthouse is asking friends to push past our own fears, and fill a bottle with love – a virtual baby bottle. Every other spring, we would be distributing baby bottles to be filled with cash, checks or change to fund the free services that bring God’s love to life. But this spring is different, so our bottles are virtual, but the need for your generous support is very real.

I pray you will join us with a gift today at www.LighthouseBabyBottle.org so there is more love in our world tomorrow.