Mother’s Day is fast approaching and at 22 weeks and 4 days into my pregnancy, I am experiencing all sorts of feelings.  This is definitely a Mother’s Day to celebrate and to reflect on God’s grace and his love for me.  Mother’s Day reminds me of my three beautiful children and how precious they have been throughout the years.  I remember all the things they’ve made for me, flowers they’ve picked for me, and cards they so carefully decorated.  I’m happy to recount all of those great memories, plus the new ones that are being made every day when I feel my developing daughter’s kicks, and see my belly expanding.  I’m also celebrating the fact that there are so many cool pregnancy apps out now, that they didn’t have 12 years ago.  I get updates on her size, weight, and other milestones on my smart phone daily.  I know that as of today, she is the size of a spaghetti squash, weighing in at approximately one pound.  How cool is that?

I also have other feelings, after a long tiring day or after hearing an infant cry at work.  I feel excited, anxious, nervous, happy, and at times sad (blame it on those pregnancy hormones!) – sometimes all in the same day!  I have so many circulating questions. …  Am I ready after 12 years to have another active little one around the house?  Will my house accommodate this new little one and all the things she needs?  Will I be able to do the long nights of little sleep and long days of chronic fatigue?  Is my body going to bounce back after a C-Section at my advanced maternal age of 41?  How will our family who is set in their ways, sleep times, and schedules, manage the unpredictable timing of a newborn and her own baby hours?  Will my older children look at her as a blessing or as a bother?  Will my landlord give us notice that our small apartment cannot house another little human?

I can’t answer all of these questions, but I can turn to the One who can help us through.  The One who knew this baby would be born and chose us as her family.  The One who knew this baby would complete our family, and who also knows that if I trust in Him, He will equip me to handle all my fears and concerns.  Just as He calms the storms of my worries, He will prepare me to be the best possible mom to my fourth child because He loves this baby and her life matters to Him.

We are all precious in our Father’s eyes!  My baby girl is no different and I thank Him for this opportunity to be a mom again, despite my fears.  He knows me well, and He knows my fears even before I pray about them so for that I can rest assured that He will provide for all of our needs.  He always has!

Happy Mother’s Day!  May God bless you, calm your storms, and guide your paths through parenthood while providing the peace only He can offer.

– Liz Lopez, Center Support Coordinator for Lighthouse Pregnancy Resource Center