Love in a Bottle

Singer-songwriter Jim Croce wanted to save time in a bottle, but Burt Bacharach believed that what the world needs now is love – not just for some, but for everyone.  I agree with Burt.  Having time but less love might lead to more senseless acts of violence like the one (in Minneapolis that) our nation is mourning. 

When questioned about the greatest commandment of all, Jesus answered with two: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength, and love your neighbor as yourself.” These two go hand-in-hand. As our love for God deepens, it naturally grows our heart for loving others.

Burt Bacharach also observed that “love was the only thing there is just too little of.” Sometimes we see that “too little” at Lighthouse when the partner of a pregnant woman threatens to leave her if she continues with their pregnancy. Or the baby’s father abandons her just before the baby is due. Other times I’ve witnessed it when a young man wants to be a good parent, but has not experienced the love of a father in his own life.

Lighthouse responds to this shortage by bringing God’s love to life. We extend a small measure of God’s unconditional love to those facing unexpected pregnancies, parenting challenges, relationship struggles, or post-abortion pain. Our free services and ongoing support – funded and fueled by those who have experienced God’s love in their own lives – expresses that love in practical ways. For some, it is a free ultrasound to medically confirm pregnancy when they have no insurance or no one to turn to; for others, it is a listening ear throughout their pregnancy journey that equips them emotionally, spiritually and materially to be a loving parent. For teens looking for love in the wrong places, it is guidance toward wise choices that protect their hearts and future.  For those hurting from a past abortion, Lighthouse offers a confidential place to discover they are not alone and that healing is possible. 

The New Testament makes another extreme statement about love. “Perfect love drives out fear,” we are told in I John 4:18. At Lighthouse, we see that even imperfect love can overcome the fear a newly pregnant mom or dad is feeling. As love is brought to life, those we serve can see past the fear of the moment to make wise life-giving, life-transforming choices. 

During this uncertain season, Lighthouse is asking friends to push past our own fears, and fill a bottle with love – a virtual baby bottle. Every other spring, we would be distributing baby bottles to be filled with cash, checks or change to fund the free services that bring God’s love to life. But this spring is different, so our bottles are virtual, but the need for your generous support is very real.

I pray you will join us with a gift today at www.LighthouseBabyBottle.org so there is more love in our world tomorrow.

Why Worry When You Can …?

Matthew 6:34 tells us not to worry about tomorrow, “for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” In the midst of a pandemic that has shut down much of life as we knew it, it is easy to see the trouble. But not worrying is harder than ever before.

So how do we maintain mental health when we have experienced such a sudden change in lifestyle, and the future seems so uncertain? A friend of Lighthouse, Simon Azavedo, MSW, LCSW, CCBT, DAPA and LLC, shared these helpful ideas (and we added a few, too). A big thank you to Simon, who operates a psychotherapeutic, educational and consultation service with offices in Bergen County. 

1. Eat right. Take vitamins as needed (but check with your physician). There is a correlation between low levels of vitamin D and depression. Take vitamin D3 rather than D2 or D. It metabolizes better in the liver. What raises vitamin D level? Sunlight . . . difficult to get when we are indoors so much! When the sun is out go for a walk or a jog. When the sun is bright, sit in front of the window. Foods that raise vitamin D: salmon, tuna, mackerel, cheese, mushrooms, egg yolks, cod liver oil. Some medications can deplete vitamin D, B vitamins, and Iron. Internet search your ‘medication name and vitamin depletion.” Also, get your Omega-3s in salmon, white tuna, spinach, kale, Brussels sprouts, walnuts, avocado, mackerel, herring, and anchovies. Internet search ‘omega 3s and depression’: various information there shows that omega-3s may also improve the response to some antidepressants. Internet search ‘folate and depression’: various information there shows that folate may improve an individual’s response to some antidepressants (leafy greens, asparagus, Brussels sprouts, citrus fruits, beans, legumes.)

2. Exercise. Walk – alone or with your family. Do a walk/jog. Do some stretching, sit-ups, push-ups, jumping jacks, knee bends. Lift weights. Use resistance bands. Use laundry detergent and other common containers, if you don’t have weights!

3. Limit news. Watch briefly in the morning and in the evening, but not before bedtime. Buffer children from watching TV shows that report “death rates” or “fatalities.” This can create a sense of insecurity and fear. Normalize your life during these abnormal times. Read the emotional climate in your house or any environment that you are in. Make it more positive (fun, safe). Look for ways to relieve tension or brighten someone’s day. Now is the time to read to or connect with your kids or grandchildren – even if it is online. For good news, go to https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/ — they have little blue tabs, where there will be different subjects, including one for “Kids.”

4. Limit electronics at least 2 hours before bedtime to reduce the blue light and the brightness of the light. Limit caffeine (which can include soda!); it lasts 4-6 hours in your system.

5. Do not catastrophize a situation if it is not the case. Don’t think in terms of worst-case scenario (irrational), but be rational. Control what you can and recognize what you cannot. Also realize the loss of control in a certain area may only be temporary.

6. Breathe, when high anxiety strikes. This helps various areas of the brain like the amygdala to calm down. You can also practice EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique), yoga poses, or visualizing peaceful places. Write down Scripture verses on index cards to memorize or meditate on.

7. Pray.  From the ends of the earth I call to you, I call as my heart grows faint; lead me to the rock that is higher than I.  Psalm 61:2 

8. Connect with someone for encouragement or to encourage that person. Colossians 3:16 takes on new meaning in the current crisis:  Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts. 

COVID-19 Update

Update 12/28/21: With the recent escalation of COVID-19 we are moving back to having all staff, volunteers, visitors and clients wear a mask regardless of vaccination status while in our centers. If you are experiencing COVID-19 symptoms as outlined by the CDC, or are unvaccinated and have been in direct recent contact with someone with COVID-19, please postpone or reschedule your visit to Lighthouse. If you have any questions, please call 973-238-9045. Thank you!

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Update 9/10/21:  If you are experiencing COVID-19 symptoms as outlined by the CDC, or are unvaccinated and have been in direct recent contact with someone with COVID-19, please postpone or reschedule your visit to Lighthouse. Per NJ and CDC guidelines, we recommend that visitors to Lighthouse who are unvaccinated wear a mask when within 6 feet of others. If you have any questions, please call 973-238-9045. Thank you!

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Update 5/28/21: We have resumed normal operations and services. If you are experiencing COVID-19 symptoms as outlined by the CDC, or are unvaccinated and have been in direct recent contact with someone with COVID-19, please postpone your visit to Lighthouse. We have implemented mask-optional policies per NJ guidelines. Please inform our staff if you prefer a mask be worn while we serve you; we are happy to do so.

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Update 3/26/21: We are operating with regular hours and services (including pregnancy testing and ultrasound confirmation of pregnancy, options education, parenting readiness appointments, relationship counsel, STD testing, post-abortion healing support, and group parenting programs). We continue to make minor modifications for social distancing and sanitizing.

To limit the number of guests in waiting rooms and in the centers at any one time, please call ahead (973-238-9045) to find out who can accompany you to your appointment. In most cases, your partner can come with you, but we recommend making an appointment for both of you. When we reach capacity at a center, guests may be asked to wait in their car or outside the center. In some cases, parenting appointments may be done virtually. Please remain at home and reschedule your appointment if you are experiencing COVID-19 symptoms or have been exposed to the virus recently. Thank you for understanding. We look forward to serving you!

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Update 12/10/20: All centers are currently open for regular hours, with modifications for social distancing and sanitizing (see updates below for more details). Most services – including ultrasound confirmation of pregnancy and STD testing – are available onsite. We are still limiting guests and number of visitors in the center – those coming for services are asked to come alone or to also schedule an appointment for their partner, if he is also interested in support. During December and January, we may be limiting in-person parenting appointments to once a month, with additional support available virtually; please speak to your peer counselor about how we can best accommodate you.  As numbers of COVID-19 infections peak during this holiday season, we are doing all we can to ensure your safety and the safety of our staff.

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Update 11/17/20: All centers are currently open for regular hours, with modifications for social distancing and sanitizing. Most services – including ultrasound confirmation of pregnancy and STD testing – are available onsite. Parenting preparation and support are being offered onsite on a limited basis, and are available virtually.
 
All those entering the center will have their temperature taken, and be screened for COVID-19. Masks must be worn at all times within the center, and social distances of 6’ maintained whenever possible. Pre-screening for COVID-19 is also taking place when appointments are made. To schedule an appointment or learn more about our free services, please text us at 201-677-2394 or call 973-238-9045 or your nearest center. Our staff look forward to serving you.
 
Please note: To minimize health risks, only individuals receiving services may enter the center during appointment hours. Our waiting rooms are not currently available to guests or children. Infants are permitted in the counseling room with a parent. Thank you for understanding and for helping us keep everyone healthy!
 
Please note that all Lighthouse locations will be closed Thursday through Saturday, November 26-28, to celebrate Thanksgiving. Blessings and stay safe!

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Update 7/1/20:  All centers are now open for regular hours, with modifications for social distancing and sanitizing. Most services – including ultrasound confirmation of pregnancy and STD testing – are available onsite. Parenting preparation and support is still available virtually. To minimize health risks, only individuals receiving services may enter the center. Our waiting rooms are not currently available to guests or children. Infants are permitted in the counseling room with a parent. Thank you for understanding and for helping us keep everyone healthy!

Pre-screening for COVID-19 is still taking place. To schedule an appointment or learn more about our free services, please text us at 201-677-2394 or call the nearest Lighthouse center. Our staff look forward to serving you.

Please note that all Lighthouse locations will be closed on Friday, July 3rd and Saturday, July 4th, in observance of the holiday. Stay safe!

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Update 6/4/20: Lighthouse continues to follow CDC and other government guidelines regarding COVID-19, so that health and safety remain a top priority. 

Our Centers are open with modified hours and limited staff for those needing pregnancy confirmation or support as they face an unexpected pregnancy. Most parenting support is being offered virtually; contact your local center to continue PREP support or learn more about our parenting preparation. STD testing will resume by June 29; contact us now to schedule your appointment.

In an effort to practice social distancing and ensure the safety of all, we will only serve one person at a time, with no guests permitted in the center. Pre-screening for COVID-19 is still taking place. To make an appointment or learn more about our free services, please text us at 201-677-2394 or call the nearest Lighthouse location. Our staff are ready to serve you!

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Update 4/1/20: Lighthouse continues to follow CDC and other government guidelines regarding COVID-19. We will be postponing in-person parenting and after-abortion healing appointments through April. STD testing is currently on hold. We are reaching out to Lighthouse parents to set up phone and/or video “visits” to continue your PREP support. We also want to hear from you, to know how we can best support you at this time.

Our Centers remain open with modified hours and limited staff for those needing pregnancy confirmation or support as they face an unexpected pregnancy. In an effort to practice social distancing and ensure the safety of all, we will only serve one person at a time, with no guests permitted.

For an appointment, please text us at 201-677-2394 or call the nearest Lighthouse location. Our staff are ready to serve you!

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Update 3/17/20: Out of an abundance of caution, we are postponing in-person parenting appointments. We will be reaching out to those who are scheduled for the next two weeks, but please feel free to contact us to let us know how we can pray for you and support you during this time!

We are still here for those needing pregnancy confirmation or support as they face an unexpected pregnancy. Text us at 201-677-2394. Our staff are ready to serve you!

Ready or Not, Another School Year is Here!

As another school year was getting underway, the staff of Lighthouse Pregnancy Resource Center geared up to guide women, men and teens of all ages to healthy, life-enhancing choices by tangibly showing them God’s love. Four of our key staff took part in CareNet’s national pregnancy center conference in early September, and returned with resources and insights to better serve “Gen Z.”

Our Paterson partner, RENEW Life, was preparing for their fall “Getting Ahead” workshop, which began in October. RENEW’s “Getting Ahead” program is a 10-week workshop which equips moms (and dads!) with the tools to overcome generational poverty. Parents gain confidence and conviction to continue their education, while also learning to manage finances and pursue stable employment.  Through this safe learning environment and grace-centered approach, Lighthouse moms are prepared to be change agents and role models in both their families and communities. “Getting Ahead” graduates continue to come for mentoring and a “Think Differently” Bible study that reinforces their transformation with spiritual truth.

Screen Shot 2019-09-12 at 9.52.47 AMIn late August, Lighthouse and RENEW Life families were blessed by donations from the Passaic County Commission on the Status of Women and Star of Hope Ministries. The Commission, led by Ernestine Dukes, toured the center and presented our children with colorful bags filled with nutritious lunch snacks. Afterwards, the children received backpacks filled with school supplies from Star of Hope Ministries. These combined donations equipped our families for a healthy, happy start to the school year.

Educators, youth leaders, and parents can likewise make a difference this school year by hosting our REALife Relationship and Love Training. REALife is a Lighthouse program that educates teens and young adults about sexual risk avoidance and the value of saving sex for marriage. REALife offers free, age- and context-appropriate presentations to churches and schools focused on topics like character development, goal setting, responding to peer pressure, and healthy relationship choices. The curriculum is medically accurate and aligns with core curriculum content standards.

God has given us the conviction that we need to actively help our community by educating youth on the dangers of unhealthy sexual behaviors, and provide teens with the resources and wisdom they need to choose abundant life.  When they make mistakes or experience painful consequences from their choices, our prayer is to show them that there is always a way to find healing and renewed perspective. If you are interested in being a part of our mission to help teens and young adults choose healthy, life-giving relationships over risky behaviors, contact Lauren Caron at laurenk@lighthouseprc.org or visit REALife’s website. To help fund all of our life-giving programs, click here. 

Restoration in Place of Regret

Statistics tell us that one in four women will experience an abortion by age 45. This means there are an equal number of men experiencing the pain of abortion. These individuals are inside and outside of our churches. They include our supporters, our volunteers, our staff.

I am so grateful that God has placed on our team people who have been in the shoes of those we serve. One of those women is Lauren Ramkawsky who provides ultrasounds to those making pregnancy decisions, and recovery support to those grieving or regretting their past pregnancy decisions. She recently shared the following thoughts.

Two Cries for Help by Lauren Ramkawsky


Two phone conversations on the same day. Two different women with the same pain.
Pain I am familiar with from my own abortion experiences.
One said her abortion was thirty years ago, the other, five days.
Thirty years provides time for layer upon layer of protection to encase the heart.
Five days is fresh, raw, naked…exposed.
Yet the cry of the mother’s heart remains the same, undimmed over decades.

 

It doesn’t seem to matter if we consider ourselves pro-choice or pro-life.
When it becomes personal, we are suddenly shifted into unfamiliar territory where labels have no meaning.
We often believe that we are alone in our pain and there is no hope for wholeness or joy to return.
Those thoughts may keep us on a lonely road of sadness and guilt.
But there is a path to healing. There is hope for restoration and redemption.
Lighthouse offers free, confidential support to women (and men) impacted by the elective termination of a pregnancy.

 

We can be different women. Stronger, wiser women who carry our experience into the future, speaking with the voice of truth and a heart of love.
Abortion’s promise to end a pregnancy comes with a price tag, but by God’s free grace, our hearts and lives can be restored.

Thank you for partnering with us to mend broken hearts. To learn more about our confidential post-abortion support, follow this link.

Baby Bottles to the Rescue

If you’ve ever heard a hungry newborn cry, you know how critical milk is to a baby’s survival. In the same way, Lighthouse baby bottles — filled with change, cash and checks — provide critical life support. The bottles fund the free, compassionate services Lighthouse offers to those making decisions about unexpected pregnancies.

From Mother’s Day to Father’s Day, over 50 North Jersey  churches distributed 8,000 bottles during our annual Baby Bottle Boomerang fundraiser. In addition to generating funds, the bottles — wrapped with stories of parents and children impacted by Lighthouse — spread the word about the help and hope we offer.

We are so grateful to everyone who participated this year!  The combined efforts of churches and Christian school students raised over $120,000 this year! That is 1.5 months of life support at all three of our centers!  This includes prevention services such as STD testing and healthy relationship counsel; intervention services such as ultrasound confirmation of pregnancy, options education and parenting preparation with material aid; and restoration support for those struggling to heal from a past abortion or other pregnancy loss. It also includes strategic outreaches in our Paterson Center such as our YoungLives Paterson Club for teen moms and RENEW Life. Both programs facilitate lasting positive change.

If you missed our Baby Bottle Boomerang this year, don’t worry! You can view our Baby Bottle video or donate life support by texting @LPRC Life to 52014.  

Special thanks to all our volunteers, to our church and school groups, and to each person who answered the “cry” for help this spring!

Lighthouse Celebrates 35th Anniversary at Annual Banquet


IMG_0058On Monday, March 4th we celebrated our 35th Anniversary at our annual Fundraising Banquet!  What a joy it was to gather with over 970 friends at The Venetian! Our theme for this year was “Wonder” as we celebrated God’s wonderful creation of life and His wonderful work in the lives of those we serve. Special guests included musicians from Hillsong NYC Worship Teams and Rev. Dr. Randall Lassiter, Senior Pastor at Calvary Baptist Church, Paterson.  

Debbie Provencher, Executive Director for Lighthouse Pregnancy Resource Center, highlighted some of the WONDERful things that have happened over the past 35 years and shared the ministry’s vision for the future.

The evening also featured several powerful testimonies from Lighthouse parents, staff and a Lighthouse baby born in 2006. Gianna is 12 years old now and she recounted her mother’s journey from an unexpected teen pregnancy to a loving mother of four and grace-filled follower of Christ.

“Because of Lighthouse, my mom gained a community who was speaking truth over her life. Who supported her, not because she did anything to deserve it, but because Lighthouse knew that the only way my mom would choose life, was by making sure that she experienced a taste of grace. And Lighthouse gave her exactly that. My mom gave me the wondrous gift of life. If she never had me, there is a chance that she would have stayed on the dangerous path that she was already on. Maybe she would not be here today if she did not go through with her pregnancy. Grace was felt in very real ways. Her identity was no longer being found in boyfriends and partying, but in Jesus. He forgave her for turning to everything but Him.” Gianna, age 12


Screen Shot 2019-03-19 at 10.57.55 AMGod is good. Lighthouse thanks Him and our many sponsors and guests for contributing to a memorable celebration and a record crowd!  Sponsorships, tickets and other gifts in advance of the evening contributed $105,749, and the offering that night, plus pledges for the coming year, brought the total raised so far to $350,000!  Thank you to all who joined us.

Don’t miss the photos from the event and the photobooth! Click here to view the gallery. Photobooth pictures start on page 3!  Thank you to Rod Bolten and Cheryl Biswurm for event photography.

Lighthouse Student Volunteer Recognized at Paterson Awards Breakfast

image000000On Monday, January 21, 2019, Lighthouse staff attended the Paterson Youth Council’s 13th Annual Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Recognition Awards Breakfast to see one of our youngest volunteers honored.  While only four students were selected for the award, eighteen-year-old Maria Mazariegos was one of the outstanding youth nominated and recognized for their service to the community.

Maria, a high school senior at Mary Help of Christians Academy in North Haledon, has been volunteering at our Paterson Center since the summer of 2017. She originally came to fulfill her school’s community service requirement, however, she became so dedicated to the mission of Lighthouse that she continued volunteering long after her requirement was complete. In the past 18 months, Maria has volunteered for over 100 hours.

image000001According to Lighthouse Center Manager Maggie Morales, Maria always goes the extra mile and has shown a great work ethic. Through her time at Lighthouse, she has cultivated her interpersonal, leadership and creative skills.  “It has been a joy to watch Maria grow and we are so thankful to have her on our team!” shared Maggie.

Maria’s dedication reflects the commitment of all our Lighthouse volunteers, whose faithfulness makes our free services possible in three locations, open a total of six days per week. In 2018, over 100 women, men and teens donated a total of 8,100 service hours to Lighthouse. During 2018, the Center staffed over 6,500 appointments in Paterson, Hackensack and Wayne. Our volunteer team represents a diverse group of individuals from junior high school students and college interns to those with professional careers who volunteer evening and weekend hours, from retirees to stay-at-home moms who utilize babysitters to serve weekly as peer counselors. Our volunteer work force also include teams of students and church groups who come together to support special projects like our Baby Bottle Boomerang, or special programs like our YoungLives Paterson outreach to teen moms. We are so thankful for everyone who regularly gives their time and talents to bring love to life at Lighthouse! The Center’s life-enhancing services and ongoing parenting support would not be possible without the teamwork of our dedicated volunteers and staff.

To learn more about volunteer opportunities at Lighthouse, visit our Volunteer page!

Spring Brings Baby Bottles!

Lighthouse is so grateful for the more than 50 church, school and community partners who are joining us this spring to bring beauty from brokenness in the lives of those we serve.
While an unexpected pregnancy may seem overwhelming at first, the confidential services and compassionate support of Lighthouse helps transform these “burdens” into blessings! The free ultrasound women and couples receive on their first visit provides a loving first look at their unborn child. The ultrasound provides a medical confirmation of pregnancy, as well as a new perspective on the unplanned situation. No longer is the pregnancy simply a problem to be taken care of, but rather a little person to be cared for.  Lighthouse staff help women and couples to carefully consider their options in a safe setting; offer adoption information and referrals; and provide, if desired, parenting support throughout pregnancy and the first year of parenting.  For those struggling with a past abortion decision, Lighthouse offers caring counsel to grieve and heal from that experience. STD testing and relationship support are also available at all 3 Lighthouse locations.
The Baby Bottle Boomerang offers churches and other community groups free bottles to distribute, to be returned to the same location filled with checks, cash or change — to help save and change lives through the work of Lighthouse, a faith-based 501C3 organization. Each baby bottle tells the story of a mom or dad who found life-enhancing support at Lighthouse! Typically this fund and awareness raiser runs from Mothers’ Day to Fathers’ Day, but Lighthouse will gladly adjust the timing and wording on the bottle wrappers to fit YOUR schedule! To reserve bottles or request our special “coins” for online giving, please click here. Thank you!Baby Bottle Boomerang 2018

Sleepy Man to Perform at HarvestFEST November 4

Lighthouse invites you to take steps for life by attending HarvestFest 2017 on Saturday, November 4.  We are eagerly preparing for this family-friendly fundraiser which takes place 4:30-9 pm at Powerhouse Christian Church in Wyckoff, NJ.

Many wonderful things are in store for this evening – all culminating in a 7 pm concert by the world-famous Sleepy Man band.  Adults and children of all ages will find food and fun activities to their liking!

Start your evening off with a delicious supper from one of NJ’s famous food trucks. Then work off your calories with rock climbing, line dancing or square dancing. Beginners welcome:  talented caller Paul Ingis of PI Squared and Christine Crawley of New School of Dance Arts will show you the steps!  Children will enjoy the craft and game room, where they will make their own special memento of the night.  Refreshments and homemade desserts will be served.

Dress in your best western or country look to compete for an individual, couple or family prize. You can also earn extra door prize tickets by bringing a pack of diapers (or more!) to help build the world’s largest diaper bale to support families in need.

The highlight of HarvestFEST is a concert by bluegrass band, Sleepy Man. The band is comprised of three talented brothers who hail from New Jersey (plus a friend on bass). The Mizzone brothers amazed Lighthouse supporters in 2013 and 2015 with their unique blend of folk, country and pop, and their stage presence.  The world-renowned teens made quite an entrance onto the music scene, with their YouTube videos, now eclipsing over 30 million views. They have performed at the Grand Ole Opry, on the Late Show with David Letterman, NBC’s The Today Show, and ABC’s Jimmy Kimmel Live!.

Lighthouse is honored to host Sleepy Man for a rare New Jersey performance to help save and change lives through our Paterson, Wayne and Hackensack centers. All proceeds from HarvestFEST will fund the free, life-enhancing support Lighthouse provides to women, men and teens facing or at-risk-for unplanned pregnancies.

Don’t miss this opportunity to see these passionate young musicians upclose, performing with a purpose!  Tickets are $15/person in advance and $20 at the door; or $60/per immediate family in advance and $70 at the door. To learn more or purchase tickets online, please visit itickets.com Thank you! IMG_7367